An ending is a beginning
Ex-boyfriends are a good source of motivation
My college boyfriend and I dated on and off throughout school. A month after I finally decided to be all in, he broke up with me out of nowhere. 🙄 I was devastated.
I retaliated by launching the “Eat your heart out, ex-boyfriend” campaign. I was determined to become the best version of myself. I’d eat only the healthiest of foods, I’d get in peak physical shape, I’d do all the fun things.
College momo doing fun things. In this case, taking pictures at the Wild Horse Monument for a Wilco photo contest with a blown-up image of the band’s lead singer, Jeff Tweedy.
It obviously wasn’t the most mature response ever, but I was young and something good came of it. I realized that those five words kept me motivated throughout the year and helped me make progress on my goals. So I dropped the focus on another person and decided to make it a thing.
And that’s how my annual goal-setting exercise started. I’ve been doing it for more than a decade now.
My annual goal-setting exercise
In case you’re curious, this is what it’s evolved into over the years. In Q4, I embark on a three-step journey:
I reflect on the past year and write down what I learned.
I determine what I want to get out of the year ahead and set a goal for each area of health: physical, emotional, mental, financial, professional, social.
I come up with a theme that conveys the aspirational vision I have for myself.
The goals don’t need to be a huge leap. Just a step in the right direction. I’ve found that I’m more likely to accomplish them—and do even more than I set out to—if they’re a small step rather than a big end result (e.g., cook one healthy meal a week versus eat healthy all the time).
The theme is a word or two, or maybe a phrase, to remind myself of what I’m striving toward. (Yogis, this is like setting an intention.)
I keep everything in an Excel spreadsheet, so it’s organized and easily accessible no matter where I am (but mostly because I have terrible handwriting and lack the artistic ability to create a beautiful and inspiring bullet journal). I make a point of checking in on my progress regularly and conduct a formal mid-year assessment.
Okay, so this is obviously a very structured, or some might say over-the-top, process. But I have to make it highly structured or I won’t do it.
In 2018, I experimented with making my goals as simple as possible. I set only one goal for each area of health. I intentionally added very little detail about the goal itself. For example, I didn’t specify how many minutes I needed to study Japanese or how often. Spoiler alert: it didn’t happen at all. Another lesson learned.
I no longer put a lot of pressure on myself to get it done by January 1 or to get it perfect the first time around. While it usually doesn’t take me very long to set goals, finding the right words for my theme can take a few months. I also don’t hesitate to make revisions throughout the year, as you can see in the screenshot above. It’s an iterative process. The whole point is that it’s supposed to help me become a better person and live a happier, healthier life.