I wanted to give up

It’s hard to know when to push myself and when to take it easy, especially with exercise. What’s an excuse versus a valid reason?

I usually decide in favor of pushing myself and going to the gym, but last week I decided to rest. My knee issues have really flared up again, and I felt unusually tired, like my body was trying not to come down with the cold that’s been going around the office. So I stayed home, iced my knees, and got extra sleep.

That seemed like a wise decision until I actually got sick over the weekend—and not just any weekend, a three-day weekend. Cue the meltdown!

The cold zapped my energy, and a few days of no exercise stretched into two weeks. I couldn’t take advantage of the long weekend or do the things that usually cheer me up—e.g., spending time with friends, getting shittake done at home, hitting the gym. I felt down, lonely, and discouraged.

I thought, how am I supposed to make progress on my fitness goals if I don’t even work out? If I don’t make progress, what will I have to write about in this notebook? What am I doing with this project anyway? Shouldn’t I be spending my time doing something productive? Maybe I should just stop.

Nothing is permanent—emotions come and go. Stormy weather can clear up as quickly as it appears.

There are many things I love about myself, but this isn’t one of them. I give up too easily on personal endeavors. I’ll talk myself out of doing something if it’s difficult and doesn’t benefit another person.

Rather than continuing this pattern, I made a different choice: I gave myself five minutes to get the “woe is I” talk out of my system. Then I started listing all the things in my life that are going well. Honestly the list was so long that I didn’t even finish. I jumped into brainstorming what I could do with the rest of my weekend given my limitations and came up with a new plan.

That was enough to make me feel better, and now I’ve taken another step forward toward reaching my goals.